Inspiration
1.31.24
Lately, I've been inspired by the word inspiration! To inspire comes from the Latin, spirare which means to breathe. In my experience, I don't think about taking each breath, rather I feel myself being breathed. Some life force, beyond my understanding, breathes and lives me - day to day.
To be inspired then is to allow myself to be led by something greater than the orientation or impetus of my individual mind. My friend Erin Prull recently posted a piece of art that greatly inspired me. She called it "She Knew It Was Time". In the piece, there is a beautiful bunny sitting in a very small box. Erin writes, "This image came to me years ago in a dream. I dreamt I had placed a tiny bunny in a box to keep her safe, and when I came back she was all grown but was still sitting in that tiny little box." She says she remembers saying to the bunny, "Oh sweetheart, why are you still sitting there? All you have to do is step out of it."
Wow! What do you need to step out of? What have you outgrown, but not left behind? For me it is a fear of expression. I was told when I was young that I talked too much. With undiagnosed ADHD I'm guessing that was probably very true, as impulse control is a hallmark of that neurodivergent way of showing up in the world. And I probably drove my mom crazy as a result.
Learning about ADHD and finding treatment hasn't always made it easy to control my impulse toward unfiltered expression. And it has caused harm. To those whom I've hurt, I'm truly sorry.
With this blog post, however, I've decided to step out of the limiting box of fear of expression, and its related cousin, perfection. Thank you, Erin, for giving me the words and image of inspiration for this moment. I will be eternally grateful. Every time I read your post and look at your incredible art, I am deeply inspired once again.
What am I led to these days? What does being breathed allow to happen? The most significant practice of my life, top of mind and heart, is the work of taking residence within my body, inhabiting mySelf. For years, I've lived around my head space, or above it, sometimes lost in debilitating thoughts alternately of being not enough or of being too much. Take a moment to check for yourself right now. Where are you living in this moment?
Moving down and into my body is a delicious experience! As Judith Blackstone, creator of the Realization Process, suggests - when we move in this way we stop objectifying ourselves. We move from observer and critic, and depending on how hard you've been on yourself, perhaps even from bully - to subject: first person experience and experienc-er.
It's hard to allow yourself to be inspired and to show up for where inspiration leads if you're hovering around the edges of your body: judging, reprimanding, insulting or demanding that you get on with whatever it is you feel you should do.
To inhabit yourSelf invites a new way of being. Body and being are joined together, and a new way of relating to others and the world is invited forward. There is more spaciousness and more possibility. Should becomes could. I could write this blog post, and I could post it today. In fact, I think I will.
I can't wait to see where I'm led next.
You can find more of Erin’s art on Instagram @erinprullart.
PS Thanks Maria Aldrey from BASB (Building A Second Brain) for creating the space and the community to write. I am very grateful.
Sincere thanks also to Theresa Scott and my longtime spiritual teacher Mukti, each for her presence, wisdom and support. My gratitude knows no bounds.